When I start talking about cars, it usually isn't long before I'm quoting zero-to-60 times, horsepower numbers and all that stuff. I'm just an old speed freak, you know? It's in my blood. Can't help myself.
But today I want to talk about a type of car that's all the way on the other end of the spectrum.
It doesn't even have an official name, so let's just call it the Beach Bum Mobile.
I know that sounds vague, but you know one when you see one. First and foremost, it's got to have room for a mattress in back, if not a full-on bed. Rear windows are optional, though a nice round porthole job with a curtain is a classy choice. You can live out of a Beach Bum Mobile if you need to, but you can also just keep it in the driveway for the occasional trip through the countryside, stopping where you please.
Got the picture? Like I said, we all know one when we see one. Now let's look at a few of the ultimate Beach Bum Mobiles, from my childhood in the '50s and '60s to the present.
This is arguably where it all started. Technically known as the Volkswagen Type 2 (it was VW's second car, after the Beetle), the "Bus" goes all the way back to the '50s. Soon after showing up in the U.S., it became a fixture on the beaches of both coasts, showing a particular affinity for the laid-back Southern California lifestyle. You could get it as a passenger van or a panel van -- the pickup version is a separate story -- and folks quickly got creative, coming up with all sorts of camper-type variants. The rear-mounted, air-cooled boxer four-cylinder barely made enough power to get the Bus up a hill, but it was also incredibly easy to wrench on. This van is a legend; if you ask me, it's still the best Beach Bum Mobile of all time. Photo credit: Mr. Choppers
They may not have the character of a VW Bus, but modern minivans are perfect for Beach Bum duty. You can usually fold the rear seats down or remove them entirely, and there's plenty of room in there for an air mattress. Plus, minivans get better fuel economy than those full-size vans with their thirsty V8 engines.
If you're strapped for cash, as beach bums tend to be, you can set your sights on aging workhorses like the Nissan Quest from the '90s, or even an original Dodge Caravan from the '80s. My personal favorite is the Toyota Previa, which rocked out in the '90s with its supercharged engine and available all-wheel drive. If you've got a little more scratch, early versions of the Honda Odyssey and Toyota Sienna make for great pre-owned options.
Let's say you're a beach bum in spirit, but your bank account says otherwise. Cost no object, there's one current Beach Bum Mobile on the market that would earn my vote, and it's a stoic German van called the Mercedes-Benz Sprinter. To me, this is today's equivalent of the VW Bus, albeit with a starting price in the $40,000 range. Powered by a torque-rich turbodiesel V6 that's reportedly capable of 30 mpg on the highway, it's offered in passenger and cargo versions, and the aftermarket is full of awesome conversion options, from pop-top camper roofs to full off-road kits with massive tires. The styling is so anonymous that it'll never be an icon like the Bus, but it certainly has everything the well-heeled beach bum could ask for.
What's Your Beach Bum Story?
Have you spent any time in a Beach Bum Mobile? Tell us all about it in the comments.
Editor's note: Beach bum or garage guru, Advance Auto Parts is here to help with a wide selection of auto parts and tools for most all projects. Buy online, pick up in-store in 30 minutes.